WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?'

GRANDPA
In my day,
we didn't ask why the chicken crossed The road.
Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road,
and that was good enough for us.
*
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting?
In a few moments we will be listening
to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heartwarming story of how it overcame
a serious case of molting and went on
to accomplish its lifelong dream of
"crossing the road"
*
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed,
I've not been told!
*
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.
*
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens
will be free to cross roads without having
their motives called into question.
*
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
*
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
*
KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.
*
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act
of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on it.
*
AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
Therefore, the chicken crossing the road
represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new,
reinvented way designed to bring greater services
to the American people.
*
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side
of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrialist greed.
The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat
on the other side of the road because
it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
*
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.
*
BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003,
which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs,
file your important documents,
and balance your checkbook---
and Internet Explorer is an
inextricable part of eChicken.
*
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road,
but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road,
and I'll bet someone out there is already
forming a support group to help
chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome.
Can you believe this?
How much more of this can real Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars,
and when I say tax dollars,
I'm talking about your money,
money the government took from you
to build roads for chickens to cross.
*
MARTHA STEWART
If the chicken crossed the road on my property,
I would be fully justified in blocking its exit
until the local authorities could arrive
to arrest it for trespassing.
I am a private person and should not
have to be subjected to the
"innocent mistakes" of common chickens.
*
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay!
Isn't it obvious?
Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face?
The chicken was going to the"other side.
"That's what "they" call it - the
"other side."
Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay.
And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too.
*
VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did,
but I will defend to the death
its right to do it.
*
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
*
FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes!
How Many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
*
EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or
did the road move beneath the chicken?
*
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
What Do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?
*
LOUIS FARRAKHAN
The road, you will see, represents the black man.
The chicken crossed the
"black man"
in order to Trample him and keep him down.
*
THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens,
and He said Unto the chicken,
"Thou shalt cross the road"
And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
*
COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?