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It is good to hear from you both!

This has been an interesting, but a rough year for me. I have stood on the brink of a crisis of faith recently ... questioning and having an argument with God, as it were. Because of disappointments over time, and self doubts, I could almost envision myself just walking away from my spiritual post, as it were, unless I could get some real answers to my questions. I needed some reassurance, and I needed divine assistance. In some areas of my spirituality, which seem to me to be most crucial in this day and age, I felt like I was groping in the dark.

But - then as I pondered my crisis of faith, I realized that I wasn't really doubting God ... but that I had grown weary of religion, and the religious struggles between people. I know there was a God. And I know He was good. But I questioned whether much of what we strive over religiously is really of our own making, and not His. I received some answers ... some signs of hope. I'm continuing to hold on to the rod of iron, but looking up and asking God for some additional help. Not everything is written.

This time for me is like a pilot going through a thick fog bank. The instruments all say I am at the right altitude etc., but I can't see it, or confirm it with my eyes yet. I want to see and feel solid ground, and not just take everything on faith. I need to know some things. Some matters need to be put to rest.

This book I have been reading has uncovered again the wound in my soul over the state of the Church - or our spiritual state as a people, both collectively and individually speaking. So much of what we have considered to be serving God, or being a good member of the right denomination, seems to be folly to me... it isn't really scratching the surface of what Jesus talked about when He said, "Follow me..."

Like this book points out, it is true that it seems "we can admire and worship Jesus without doing what He did. We can applaud what He preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore His cross without taking up ours."